The Russian drug lord, the iPhone and the transsexual with an interest in intelelctual property...
Christie was so high that just being in possession of her blood sample would count as possession in 49 states. In Saudi Arabia you could be stoned to death.
She was naked on the bed when, let’s call him ‘Yuri’, pulled out his iPhone and started taking photographs of her. She went ballistic and started throwing anything she could get at him ‘put that f******thing away or I’ll f****** kill you she was screaming. He didn’t so she tried.
Christies has always had strong views about intellectual property law.
The bed side lamp hit the wall with this god-awful crash and then the book beside the bed – a crap book ’the Road Less Travelled’ by M Scott Peck (is that ironic, it has to be ironic right) the book connected with the IPhone and it went clattering to the floor. It skittered across the room and I grabbed it and threw it out the window, or at least tried, I missed and it hit the window which cracked and the phone dropped to the floor.
I love to see things get smashed up. Christies loves to smash thing s up, we have common interests, it makes for a good relationship.
Yuri started screaming, like the coke in his brain had started to boil his blood, I have no idea what he was saying, it was all in Russian , I could make out every fifth word (which was ‘slut’), he was one angry cossack.
He lunged for his phone and Christie was throwing anything she could reach at him, pillow, the other lamp a glass of water, there was all this random bedside shit raining down on him.
A pillow split open and little bits of foam rubber rained down on the room, it was like being inside a cheap Chinese snow dome, Carla started laughing her little coked out head off, Yuri was screaming, it was fuc***** crazy.
Christie is so nuts, as soon as Carla started laughing she did to, there she was hurling random bedroom shit at Yuri and screaming and laughing her naked body being coated with little yellow crumbs of foam from the pillow. Yuri was totally freaked out.
He managed to grab his shattered iPhone and then started looking for his pants still screaming ‘помешаться’ fu***** Russian.
Pants on, he started his next mission.
Somewhere in the room was about a gram and a half in a plastic baggie that belonged to him and he was now looking for it. Carla, the enterprising opportunist, had taken advantage of the chaos slipping both the coke and $375 from his wallet into her handbag, we didn’t know it at the time, we only found out in the taxi – Yuri didn’t have a clue or a chance.
He was such a push over – you can imagine him being really scary, all those f*** off tattoos and shit but there were three of us and one of him, so all he could do was scream and try get his pants on before some neighbour called the police.
Russian coke freak caught without pants in sleazy motel with three transsexuals – try defend that in front of a judge when you have prison tattoos on your neck and Russian accent.
He scrambled around on the floor for maybe a couple of minutes to get to his shoes on while Christie kept hurling shit at him, it was hilarious the poor dumb bastard, you do not mess with Christie.
It was nuts, you have no idea how crazy it all felt, this mad rush of drugs and screaming and vodka and heat, it was like the whole place was melting like burning plastic and all you could hear was this crashing and smashing and cursing in Russian and Christies screaming and laughing like the devil.
In the Taxi Carla split the money three ways, you have to love her, she should have kept the cash, we didn’t; know she’d grabbed it. But she’s not like that, none of us are, she’s a nice girl, we all are really.
These photos are the last of us on the night before I got too drunk, they are out of focus, I was out of focus. I still have a hangover two days later.
I really need to clean up my act.
X
Lavinia
